Tayshia Adams Bachelorette, Mustache-Gate, Talk to me, Goose 11/17/20

In case you didn’t know, Bennett went to Hahvuhd. He has boasted about this several times. This will become especially important in this next group date. Ashley and Jarrod show up to present the group date boys with the Grown Ass Man Challenge. Bennett brags about how well he will do, because he went to Harvard, and how smart he is, because he went to Harvard, so we all know that means that he’s going to tank the academic part of this challenge. He looks especially ignorant when he complains that the questions aren’t worded well. Everyone else got them correct, Benny old boy. What’s this? Bennett says he can’t compete in the tug o’ war challenge because of an old football knee injury. Right, Benny. Can I just take a moment to say that Tay looks A-MAZING in that leafy green patterned silky dress! Bennett gets in a white robe and serves Tay some beignets in bed. Tay calls him bougie. But then says, “That’s okay, because I’m bougie too.” For those of you who are seeking a clearer meaning on what being ‘bougie’ entails, it means “Aspiring to be a higher class than one is.” I feel like Bennett would die if he knew she called him that, because I get the feeling that he believes he is already better than the rest of us.

So now we’re at the group date cocktail party and Bennett shows up in his robe and he’s ready to take Tay by storm. Is Ben wearing anything under that robe, because he keeps pulling it together around his legs as if he doesn’t want us to get a peek at his gibbly bits. As soon as Tay sits down, Bennett asks if he can steal her. She is kind of surprised and tells him she wants to say hi to everyone first, so she says hi, and then Chasen asks to steal her and she says, “Yeah, sure.” SO totally a slap in the face to Benny boy. You can tell he’s hurt. Here’s my thought. Bennett’s best hope is Bachelor in Paradise. You know he’ll be on it. AND he’ll be on the one after that, because he will never find anyone who’s good enough for him. And THEN, when Wells marries Modern Family girl, Bennett will take over as bartender and become a permanent piece of Bachelor scenery. And that’s all Bennett really wants in life anyway.

I’m loving Ivan. I just think he’s cute and sweet. Might I say that I find the whole blindfolding and being fed strawberries rather weird though. Do you get a stronger sense of taste when another one of your senses is removed? Anyway, he feeds her ONE strawberry and then he sticks his tongue down her throat. Well-played, Ivan.

So Ed lost the Grown Ass Man challenge, and as the designated man-child, he has to carry an infant around with him. The funny thing is, he’s totally owning it, and carrying it with him everywhere, so I say good for Ed. But now, he proves himself a man-child as he goes to Tayshia and commits the ultimate Bachelor mistake by tattling on one of the other guys. This time, it’s Chasen who is thrown under the bus for being fake and not there for the right reasons. Tay then grabs Chasen to clarify what’s going on. Chasen denies everything, and now Tayshia is contemplating her next steps.

Chasen runs out to confront Ed and he’s yelling; and what is their deal? They act like because Tay’s sitting backstage like ten feet away, she no longer has the ability to hear them. As soon as Ed sees her though, he starts shushing Chasen like a little kid, (Shhh, sit down, shh, here she comes.) Chasen refuses, but then he sees Tay and calms down. She ends up giving Ivan the group date rose.

Fast forward to the rose ceremony cocktail party and Tayshia walks out looking smoking hot in a thigh-high cut dress. I definitely have a girl-crush on Tay. Bennett and Ed are having a conversation about Chasen’s use of grammar, and how he mistakenly used a noun when he should have used an adjective or something like that. Those two need to get a life. IF that’s the worse they can say about someone, they need to find some new material. Ed goes up to Tayshia and starts tattling on Chasen again. At first, I was like, ‘okay Ed, you go,’ but now I’m like, “ED, snitches get stitches, just shutty!”

Tayshia grabs Chasen and tells him he just needs to back off from Ed and not let him bother him, and so Chasen mans up and goes to apologize to Ed. They just keep talking in circles, so Zac and Bennett confront them to put a stop to their nonsense.

Rose ceremony: Zac gets the first rose, then Riley, Kenny, Ben, Demar, Bennett, Spencer, Jordan, Noah, Blake, Ed, and the final rose goes to Chasen. Come on, we all knew it. Ed and Chasen make good tv, so they’re staying. Ed looks like he’s about to call the Gambino family out to perform a hit on Chasen. I’d sleep with one eye open tonight, Chasen. Also, I did not see Eazy get a rose, but he’s still in the competition.

New Game: Every time Chasen says ‘Tayshia is a smoke show’ you must drink. So irritating. The guy’s a Neanderthal. He keeps calling himself Wolverine, which is rather nauseating, too.

The group date is a wrestling date. Fun times, Chris and Wells are the announcers for wrestling! I LOVE Wells! When Spencer throws Ben down, Wells utters the immortal words, “Whoa, he nailed him like he was in the Fantasy Suite!” Wells is one witty guy.

Ed and Chasen are supposed to go in the ring, and at the time they call them up, Ed yells out to Chris to come over and chat. Ed then tells Chris that he has some chronic shoulder injuries, and doesn’t want to hurt himself wrestling Chasen. At this point, I am screaming. “Could you be more of a wuss, Ed?!” The answer is NO, NO he could not be more of a wuss.

When Ed won’t fight, Chris H asks if anyone will fight for Chasen tonight. At that point, a producer helps Noah jump the fence to win Tayshia’s heart.  (JK about the producer, but you know that was totally planned.) Now friends, Noah has the WORST mustache in the WORLD, a fact Wells immediately points out, BUT he was super cute to jump the fence for Tay. He loses the match with Chasen, but Tay asks him to join their cocktail party anyway. Bennett gets all bent out of shape about it, mainly because he didn’t think of it first. The other guys are vewwy mad as well. The big babies.

At the group date cocktail party, Noah talks to Tayshia first. During their convo, she mentions his mustache and he laughs. Friends, he looks like Anthony Edwards in Top Gun. I’monna post a pic, and you tell me if I’m not right. Anyway, the next thing we know, Noah is gone, and we all have a sneaking suspicion that he’s going to go shave his ‘stache. He comes back and interrupts Jordan to talk to Tay with a razor in his hand. She shaves his face, and says, “You actually look kind of hot!” Which is funny, because what did she think of him before? He does look a million times better, so I’m super glad she talked him into it.

Tay heads back to the cocktail party, and the guys are super upset that Noah got any time with her, and they are very unhappy when he gets the group date rose. Fellas, this is all about winning the woman’s heart, and Noah knew how to play the game, or his producer knew how he could score points with Tay anyway. They keep dissing on his age, but he’s 25, so it’s not like he’s 16 or anything. The gentlemen are acting like a bunch of spoiled teenage girls.

The show basically ends here, and we can look forward to next week when it looks like Noah will be called out for being a fake, or is that just clever editing? Murrell out.

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