Whoa, Yosef is a HORRIBLE man. What a complete loser. He quickly got on his high horse and then it just escalated into chauvinistic pig territory at light speed. He told Clare that he wanted nothing to do with her after the naked dodgeball date and the rest of the guys were just humoring her. Then he starts mouthing off about her being the oldest Bachelorette, and she should know better. I don’t know what his problem is. First off, my guess is that Clare did NOT plan that date, the producers did. She just had the good sense to enjoy it. My second guess is that he knew he wouldn’t make it past the second rose ceremony, so he wanted to go out with a bang. Well, he went out looking like the biggest tool that ever lived. But what is the silver lining in this cloud? Well, sweet Dale walks over and comforts her and makes her boo-boos go away. He is super hot folks. So, there’s no cocktail party while Clare goes and dries her tears.
Rose Ceremony: Three guys go home, but to be honest, I have no clue who they are.
Dale says he’s already protective of Clare, and if the previews have anything to say about it, the two are getting hot and heavy in the boudoir.
Clare gets some advice from ex-Bachelorette Deanna. I have no idea who she is. Clare talks to her about Dale. Friends, I believe the producers are making it clear that Dale is the one, and soon, we will be moving from Bachelorette Clare to Bachelorette Tayshia. Umm, what’s this? Clare has a pair of Dale’s pants and both the girls are sniffing them. I’m not saying they’re wrong, I’m just saying I would have done it off-camera.
So Clare comes in late for her group date so that, instead, they can have a long quality conversation. You know, it’s always been my experience that men want conversations. Quality conversations. If they can have that, they go home satisfied. Quality conversation is probably better than third base for most guys.
We’re about to see the Dale hatred start from the guys. Dale just took Clare off first in their group date. She’s asking him “Why are you so perfect?” And then they start making out and you hear nothing else except face-sucking. The other guys are starting to get pissed because Dale has been gone for an HOUR. The two are about to do it, when Eazy knocks at the door and stops them in the middle of their love-making.
Friends, I’m going to say what we’re all wanting to say. I thought things could NOT be worse after Peter, but I believe Clare is the WORST bachelor/ bachelorette in history. I really held out good hopes for her, but they have been dashed.
I mean Dale spent an hour with her, and some poor guy’s trying to get his 30 seconds with her, and when she sees Dale, she asks him to come over, and they start making out and the rest of the guys are Mucho maddo. Then Clare does the unthinkable and gives Dale the Rose and the gents get even madder, because they feel they haven’t had a chance.
After Clare leaves, the guys attack Dale. Jason, the ex-pro football player, looks like maybe he’s suffered one too many concussions or is experiencing some roid rage and is ready to punch Dale in the face.
Zach J and Clare go on their one on one date and Zach thinks they’re having a good time, but Clare says his nervous laughter is stressing her out. Poor Zach, she keeps telling the camera that she wishes Dale were there.
Most Awkward Moment in Bachelorette History: Clare leans in to kiss Zach J, and she SAYS he pulled away. False. I have rewound the shot like ten times. He then grabs her and asks what happened, and tells her he wanted to kiss her. She’s all weirded out, and says off-camera that she wants nothing to do with him. The woman’s a freak, friends! She sends Chris Harrison to tell poor Zach that he’s going home! What in the world? This show is a train wreck.
Next group date: So the guys are going to learn to roast each other. Here’s the catch though, The group date guys are irritated because the rest of the guys from the house are going to be in the audience, which means that Dale’s going to be in the audience, which means now they are all going to roast him.
All the guys are picking on Dale, and Clare is getting more and more mad. Bennett, the Harvard boy, is really nailing poor Dale, and Clare’s about ready to cry because her precious was attacked. Now she’s about ready to cry. Friends, I was super excited to have Clare as Bachelorette. I was wrong. She’s terrible.
Oh wow, Clare is going to start the group date cocktail party by talking to Bennett. She’s obviously angry, and Bennett isn’t picking up on it. To Beno’s credit, he tries to turn the conversation away from Dale, but Clare was having none of it. He explicitly said he no longer wanted to talk about Dale, but Clare ignores him and asked another question about Dale. She asks ALL the guys questions about Dale, and then ends up telling the guys she didn’t get what she needed from them tonight and no one would be getting the rose. What is wrong with her? She ends up giving herself the rose and telling herself how proud she is of her for being strong. What the…?
Meanwhile, The guys are getting ready for an uprising, wondering why they’re even there if Clare has already found her man. Suddenly, we flash to the previews, and the best part is when Tayshia steps out of the pool. Thank goodness, Tayshia to the rescue! I can only hope that Clare’s journey ends within the first fifteen minutes next week, and Tayshia steps up to the plate. Murrell out.