Joel McHale’s the host. He starts off talking to Erik Cowie, the Head zookeeper. Erik looks the worse for wear. He appears to have fewer teeth than the last time we met him. The first thing he does is to pronounce memes as memmies, which cracks me up. He talks about his great love for the tigers, but then, out of the other side of his mouth, he talks about having a soothing voice which lures tigers into a corner so that they can be put down. For no reason. Hmmmm, he’s a very confused man trying to make it in the world. His closing words are regarding his teeth. He admits he’s got bad teeth, says it’s all part of getting old, and we can go eff ourselves. Thank you, Erik.
Next up Jeff and Lauren. Joel asks about the nanny, and Lauren comments on how hot she is. Definitely some three ways happening there. Joel says that Alan is the most terrifying man he’s ever seen and Lauren and Jeff say he’s the sweetest man ever. They then discuss Alan filmed in the bathtub and I’m wondering why I have no memory of that. Could I have blocked it out? Surely not. Joel asks if Joe was set up, and Jeff responds that’s the biggest crock of sh— ever. He claims Joe was his own worst enemy. Also, Jeff wears his leather jackets to keep from getting clawed by tigers. Makes sense. Jeff said he knows the truth about James Garrison and why he cooperated with the feds and it ‘wasn’t over no lemur.’ Joel then asks if Jeff reported James’ hairdresser to the feds. Good one, Joel. Lauren abso-effing-lutely thinks Carole killed her husband.
John Renke is up next. I love John. He’s transmitting from a garage with a wrecked Ford race car behind him. Joel asks if John ever wanted to take off one of his legs and beat Joe with it. John answers in the affirmative. John complains that in spite of the Covid, people approach him at Walmart and want to hug him. A man who works with lions and tigers is worried about the Covid, go figure. He has a new woman, but hasn’t finalized his divorce, also because of the Covid. That darn virus.
SAFF is on next. She is being referred to as a he here, but I always thought she was a she. Am I wrong, or is this just a personal choice she’s making? Or he’s making? Not trying to be rude, just curious. Once again, he’s complaining that people in Walmart want to come up and hug him. He got his arm ripped off by a tiger, you would think that the covid would be nothing. Saff says he was there for the animals. OK, Joel just asked Saff if he was bothered because they constantly referred to her as she on the Netflix documentary. He replies, no, I wasn’t bothered by it at all. I think it bothered other people, but not me. Saff continues to stand behind the tiger that bit him. You know folks, this is my kind of human. He doesn’t cry about stuff, he doesn’t place blame, he just wants to live and let live. I salute you, Saff.
Jeff’s campaign manager-Josh Dial-Believes the documentary is fair and balanced. He says he knew Joe was bat shit crazy. He says as a political science major being Joe’s campaign manager was a once in a lifetime opportunity, and on the positive he got to hold Lions and tigers and bears. Oh my. Joel asked Josh if Joe ever tried anything romantic on him, and he replied, “no, Joe likes them young and dumb.” Very accurate assessment. Josh, unlike Saff, blames others for his problems. When asked about Travis’s suicide, Josh doesn’t answer except to say that Joe never got him counseling help and Jeff never got him counseling help, so he plans on saving money and getting help for himself. Why didn’t he just leave after that tragedy happened? I would’ve headed out the door. Joe sought the counseling of a shaman after Travis died and Josh doesn’t think that helped him and thinks that it made Joe worse. Josh obviously hates the feds, because he just repeated “F the feds” several times in a row.
Next up is John Finlay who is literally unrecognizable. He appears showered. He has this wispy beard and a full set of teeth. He looks clean and he’s wearing a shirt. Nothing like when we saw him on the show. Did I mention that he looks clean? And showered? John is upset because people are dissing the tattoo artist that covered his groinular tattoo. Admits to a lot of people hooking up at the zoo out of Joe’s watchful eye. He restated that it is NOT Joe who is singing. Wow! I think Joe should have been put up on charges for false singing. That was very misleading.
Rick Kirkham is in Norway. Friends, can I just mention the state of teeth on almost everyone in the show? Do people in charge of large cats not brush or floss or visit a dentist regularly? Rick admits to selling out his own journalistic integrity by not reporting Joe and the things he did to animals to the authorities. He says that Joe was actually terrified of big cats and when he got into the cage with them it was because they were either blind or tranquilized. Rick still has nightmares about the things that happened to him while at the zoo. Seriously, his own greed made him stay, so he deserves whatever nightmares he’s having.
OK friends, we didn’t learn much new about the tiger king except he seems like a real butthole and probably deserves to be in jail. He lied about his singing, he was mean to animals, and I think an all-around nasty person. Of course, that’s just what these folks are saying, so what do I know? Murrell out