Pilot Pete, Finale Part 1!

Friends,

Are you up for the final two episodes of PWebb? So many questions, and tonight and tomorrow we will have answers! Is it just me or did anyone else hear Pilot Pete tell Lauren Zima that his lead gal hasn’t changed since about the fourth week of the show??? I was super surprised at that.

Sweet Pete meets with his parents. Barb is sporting a tube top like nobody’s business. Looks Gucci to me, but what do I know? Pete lets them know that he didn’t sleep with Madison, but she is the one relationship that has continued to climb and the first person that he fell in love with. His family is immediately concerned that he and Madi have not slept together. These people like to put their noses where it don’t belong.

Peter calls Hannah Ann “pure, beautiful innocence.” Dad says the way she’s being described, she sounds like a female Peter. Would we call someone who’s done it four times in a windmill “pure, beautiful innocence?” We would not.

Peter hangs all over Hannah Ann, who is looking surprisingly uncomfortable, while Dad and Barb lovingly mutter “look at that.” Barb takes Hannah Ann to the side, who tells Barb how much she loves Pete and Barb is convinced that their love is beautiful and real. Hannah Ann then tells Dad how serious she is about this process and her love for Petey. Dad just says how wonderful that is. Guys, is it just me, or do you feel like Barb and Dad walk around the house naked? Or at least in their undies? That’s something that pure, beautiful, innocent Hannah Ann will have to get used to.

After talking to Hannah for like 15 minutes, Dad tells Peter, “She is TOTALLY into you.” These people are very intuitive and insightful. Dad asks Peter if he has stronger feelings one way or the other for one of the gals, and as Lauren Zima says, SAAAAD Peter emerges. He gets teary-eyed when thinking about his final decision.

HA tells Peter, ”I DO love you. I DO! and I’m not afraid to say it and I’m not afraid to show it and I’m not afraid to play it and I bet you want to know it.” I decided to rhyme a little there, but she said the first two parts.

Now PWebb goes to meet Madison who is every bit as sad as sweet, sad Peter. Madi’s kind of telling him off now, but then she tells him that if he got down on one knee, she would say yes.  Pete continues to get more and more confused as she talks. He’s super sad and anxious, and regretting that he let little Peter get the best of him. But at the end of it all, he says he only heard her say that she would say yes if he asked her to marry him, so who knows? Squirrel: Her eyelashes literally touch her eyebrows. I am totes Jelly. DO people say that anymore?

Peter tries to convince Madi that he gets her feels. He’s looking at her through the squinty eyes. Friends, I just want to tell Madi that NO relationship should be this much work. Peter just wants her to ignore the fact that he’s slept with two other women a week ago, despite her specifically asking him not to if she’s the one for him. AND if, Peter knew Madi was the one since the fourth week, one thinks he might have been able to control himself a little better.

Peter basically talks about how sweet and pure Hannah Ann is , but he’s always saying how much he LOVES Madison, so I’m leaning towards sweet Madi for the win. They walk in to meet his parents and Peter tells them they had a roadblock in their relationship. Dad asks what the roadblock was, so Madi lets them know about the whole sleeping with others thing.

Dad talks to Madison first;  Madi tells him how important her faith is to her. Meanwhile, Peter and brother are talking and bro says to Pete, “Obviously, you’re very physical in relationships. SO, if you get with Madi, and you have to wait, are you going to be able to do that?” Pete answers that he will be okay with that. Jack, Pete’s brother, is VERY concerned that Madison won’t sleep with Peter. PEOPLE, why is this anyone’s business but Peter’s??? If my parents and siblings were advocating that I pick the person that would sleep with me, that would just be odd.

Barb is talking Peter down to Madi, telling her that Peter likes to socialize and party, and “I DON’T want anyone to change him.” Barb, calm down, she doesn’t want him to stop socializing, she just wants him to do more of it at church. Like ice cream socials and stuff. Barb was not nice. I don’t like her. BUTT out of your son’s life. After Madi leaves, Peter goes to Barb and Barb starts sobbing to Peter. This woman needs to get hold of herself. She tells Peter that Madi’s not there for him. FALSE. I do not think that was fair. She tells Peter that Hannah Ann is an “angel on Earth.” She talked to Hannah Ann for all of a few hours, so she’s an authority now on Hannah Ann. Calm down, woman.

Peter keeps insisting that he has a LOT of love in his heart for Madison. His family keeps throwing Hannah Ann in front of his face. Why are they all pushing Hannah Ann? I mean, let’s get real, even Peter barely knows her. SO strange that they are this invested in her. Barb starts her crying again. Seriously, if General Hospital is looking for a new lead, they need to ring Barb up. She’s pathetic. Barb tells Peter, Hannah Ann’s “a dream come true.” Peter tells her to stop. He begs her “Please don’t do this to me. You are destroying me.” Peter, for ONCE, you put your foot down, and I salute you. Miraculously, Barb’s tears stopped as soon as Peter told her to stop. That gal can turn the waterworks on and off at will.

Peter meets Madison for a helicopter ride. Madison is starting to feel how different the two of them are despite the fun they have when they’re together. She tells him how much she wants him, but she doesn’t think she can see clearly while she’s in this relationship, and she doesn’t know if they can give each other what they need.  She thinks being a great warrior and a great fighter is knowing when to surrender and walk away. He asks her why she doesn’t think she’s the one for him. She lets him know they expect different things from life. As usual, PWebb is confused.  She had told him yesterday she could see him getting down and proposing and she would say yes. Today, she is wanting to break up.By the way, COULD someone take them inside somewhere where the bugs are NOT biting them, so they can have a decent conversation? If Pete has to wave bugs away from his head one more time, I’monna change the channel. I wish Madi would just go ahead and say that Peter’s mom talked her into believing that they are not the best for each other. BARB, you done screwed up!!! They’re both crying and Madi gets in the car and drives off. Sad Peter is now walking around the Outback all alone. I ‘ope a Dingo doesn’t get ‘im. See how I did a written accent there?

Petey’s talking to Chris, telling him that he has no idea what to do since he’s in love with two people. Hmmm, this seems fairly basic to me. Madi pulled herself out of the race, so that leaves Hannah Ann. IF you are in love with Hannah Ann, it seems the math would indicate that she is the only one standing, and the one you should pick. 

Hannah Ann and Peter are going on a date. A lanky handsome dude pulls up in a yellow jeep and takes them to a kangaroo sanctuary. Precious baby kangaroos come jumping up to them, and the sight of these tiny things makes me want to forgive the Bachelor for all the trash they’ve put us through this season.

Hannah Ann lets us know that she’s given Peter everything she has. This kind of makes me laugh, because I feel that she has a really small tank. All that she has doesn’t seem like all that much….

Peter comes knocking at her hotel door. Oddly, she says she’s ready to give him all she has. But wait, hasn’t she already done that? I guess she found a reserve tank. She’s going on to Peter about how she hopes she’s the one for him. Peter slowly looks up at her, and I feel like he’s about to say something important….Once again, he looks confused. He tells her he’s never doubted anything with her and how much she wants him to be happy and how beautiful that’s been for him….people, he looks like he’s about to pass out. Can I just say, I’m so sick of hearing about Petey’s heart being pulled in two directions? Hannah Ann tells him that’s not what she wants to hear, that his heart’s being pulled in two directions. Thank you, Hannah Ann. She feels like she’s given and given and she’s not getting anything in return and he doesn’t seem completely there for her. Petey gives her the heavy-lidded stare, which could mean confusion or something else. Whoa, Hannah Ann needs to pull that dress down. Her nether regions were about to make their first television appearance. I’m pretty sure they just black-boxed her goodies right there. Cut to Chris Harrison….

Chris Harrison lets us know that NO ONE knows how this will end, not even Peter. I’m sure he and Madi have been dating behind the scenes and they’re going to bring their love to fruition tomorrow night.

Tomorrow night: Chris is talking to Madi about her regrets. Barb collapses into her husband’s arms sobbing.  It’s gonna be crazy folks! Stay tuned! Bobs out.

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